Magic Mayonnaise

[mme_hardy]

 From Woman's World, June, 1934, p. 13.

Magic Mayonnaise
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup oil
2/3 cup sweetened condensed milk
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
Few grains cayenne

Place ingredients in a pint jar in order given. Fasten top of jar tightly and shake vigorously for one or two minutes. If a heavier consistency is desired place jar in refrigerator to chill before using.

There is worse to come.

Mineral Oil Dressing

2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/4 cups mineral oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper or paprika

Beat egg yolks until thick gradually adding lemon juice, then blend in oil carefully -- as dressing thickens, oil may be added more quickly. Season and chill before using.

This dressing is particularly desirable for laxative diets, also for reducing diets as the mineral oil has no nutritional value.

Comments

[ironed_orchid]

Just, no.

[moetushie]

also for reducing diets as the mineral oil has no nutritional value

A good thing to eat, then.

[redbird]

The first one isn't mayonnaise, obviously; it is so bizarre I can't begin to imagine what it would be like, or whether I might like it. But it is plausibly food, which the second one is actively trying not to be.

[dsrtao]

I think that if you added garlic and green herbs to the not-a-mayo you might approximate ranch dressing. But I wouldn't.

[mme_hardy]

The original recipe suggests adding capers and vinegar (maybe parsley? I forget) to make not-a-ravigote.

[staranise]

I'm having flashbacks to cooking with my grandmother.

[movingfinger]

Add some of that glycerine to the mineral oil dressing and you'll never worry about having hairballs again!

[mme_hardy]

No matter where I serve my guests
It seems they like my half-bath best!

What Did Mayonnaise Ever Do to Them?

[executrix]

I was going to ask what they had against mayonnaise, but then I remembered that Perfection Salad explains that mayonnaise had iconic status in making things look adequately pure to not look like gross food that might lead to forbidden sensuality.

Re: What Did Mayonnaise Ever Do to Them?

[mme_hardy]

No actual mayonnaise recipe is given (it's an article on summer salads); just magic mayonnaise.

Re: What Did Mayonnaise Ever Do to Them?

[executrix]

But they keep pretending that these Objects are mayonnaise, it's not called Magic Unguent.

ETA: Magic Mayonnaise the movie: the big number is Hallelujah, It's Raining Oil!

Re: What Did Mayonnaise Ever Do to Them?

[movingfinger]

I'm going waaaaay out on a limb here and guessing this would be something that went with or in molded Jello salads.

Re: What Did Mayonnaise Ever Do to Them?

[caulkhead]

That sounds like a fascinating book.

Being nosy now: does it say anything to explain the (to me) mystifying popularity of Jello salads? Was there a major marketing campaign by the manufacturers, was was it supposed to make vegetables easier to digest, or something? Or are they just things that turned up in cookbooks because people will expect them there but nobody actually ever made them.

Re: What Did Mayonnaise Ever Do to Them?

[executrix]

It is! Highly recommended.

Yeah, I think that Jell-o publicized the hell out of Jell-o salads. They also have a place in the history of American religion. Mormons aren't allowed to drink tea or coffee, but they are not subject to bans on gelatin, so Salt Lake City is the leading market for lime Jell-O in the world. Mormon families have many communal social events that involve bringing food, and gelatin molds are de rigueur. (Or de regooey.)

Jewish immigrants to the United States also eagerly adopted Jell-o as a dessert and especially as a molding medium--Portnoy remembers the miracle of his mother suspending peaches in Jell-o. There's a traditional European Jewish dish called p'tcha, which is calf's foot jelly, and sweet gelatin dishes were readily adopted in the US. Powdered gelatin dessert mixes were cheap, kept forever, and showed that the greenhorn was assimilating by eating "American" food.

In fact one of the impetuses for the development of commercial kosher food was a kerfuffle about precisely which gelatin mixes were kosher enough. Now there are multiple kashruth-certifying organizations, and if you keep kosher you have to ask your rabbi which "heckshers" (symbols of kashruth) are acceptable.

In my neighborhood, most of the stores are owned by Muslim Pakistani immigrants, so halal dessert-making powder, in lemon, orange, and mango flavors is readily available, although I think it's made with cornstarch rather than gelatin, so every once in a while I flirt with the idea of buying some because it's vegetarian.

[the_future_modernes]

I am stupendously confused about the mayonnaise with condensed milk. What on EARTH were they gonna put that on? The mineral oil dressing is just disgusting. Did no one have tastebuds?

[mme_hardy]

Judging by my reading, most American salad dressings were very sweet.

[sabotabby]

I am really enjoying these disgusting recipes.

[executrix]

http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/ The Gallery of Regrettable Food! I was going to say that I had a treat in store for you, but perhaps that isn't the right word.

And remember, you can't make Candlestick Salad without mayonnaise or mayonnaise analog!

[sabotabby]

LOL one of my friends got her peen removed and had a Weenie Roast party, and I made Candle Salad to celebrate despite hating every single one of the ingredients. It was appreciated.

[mme_hardy]

You are the sort of friend everybody should have.

[sabotabby]

Haha, thanks. I really like theme parties? And dick jokes. And my friend threw a theme party that was a big dick joke, so.

[garpu]

Oh god. That's not how you make mayonnaise.2nd recipe is closer, but, ugh. It's generally a good idea to not give your guests the shits.