The capability of my evens to can has, in fact, noticeably decreased. It may now be a negative void unto which all universes will be drawn while screaming "what the fucking fuck?" all the way down.
(And, like. I have written, based on research and personal discussions/confidences from people I know - sufficiently anonymized/etc - fiction that is based around the idea of someone who suffered rape and assault approaching reenactment, for more or less reasons akin to the trauma-therapy idea of telling the story of your trauma but changing the ending. Consensually. In carefully pre-discussed and negotiated scenes with a fucktonne of safeguards, ways to call halt, and with people who's ability to handle the mess if something ends up bad - and for that matter the after-care disaster-area even if it works because hello - is quite advanced*. Which I relate to demonstrate I am not coming from a place of "any and all reference ever would naturally be bad" because human psyches are complicated and messy and so on.
But what you describe is so bugfuck I really truly genuinely can't even. Like it's not even upsetting. It's like "so then to deal with his dry eyes I poured hot chili oil in them.")
*well, okay, there's also the period of Almost Totally Successful Self Destruction previous, but I feel it goes without saying that that entire period of his life can be summed up as "in which his damage attempts to see just how many Really Bad, Stupid, Horrific Ideas it can get him through alive, and considers the point it fails to do so merely the successful outcome of the operation." But I seriously digress.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 09:31 pm (UTC)(And, like. I have written, based on research and personal discussions/confidences from people I know - sufficiently anonymized/etc - fiction that is based around the idea of someone who suffered rape and assault approaching reenactment, for more or less reasons akin to the trauma-therapy idea of telling the story of your trauma but changing the ending. Consensually. In carefully pre-discussed and negotiated scenes with a fucktonne of safeguards, ways to call halt, and with people who's ability to handle the mess if something ends up bad - and for that matter the after-care disaster-area even if it works because hello - is quite advanced*. Which I relate to demonstrate I am not coming from a place of "any and all reference ever would naturally be bad" because human psyches are complicated and messy and so on.
But what you describe is so bugfuck I really truly genuinely can't even. Like it's not even upsetting. It's like "so then to deal with his dry eyes I poured hot chili oil in them.")
*well, okay, there's also the period of Almost Totally Successful Self Destruction previous, but I feel it goes without saying that that entire period of his life can be summed up as "in which his damage attempts to see just how many Really Bad, Stupid, Horrific Ideas it can get him through alive, and considers the point it fails to do so merely the successful outcome of the operation." But I seriously digress.