Letters I never expected to write

[mme_hardy]

October 8, 2015
The residents of
[address]

Dear Neighbor,
This afternoon, when my daughter was in our back garden, she overheard a voice from your yard talking to a dog. She then saw dog dung being thrown over the fence into our garden. When we investigated, we found a pile of dog dung behind our hedge, one that has been accumulating for months if not years.
This is neither civilized nor decent. Stop immediately.
Sincerely,
Mme. Hardy

Note that I am striving for icy rather than threatening. Threats will be in the next (God, I hope not) letter. I did my best to trace the owners of the property so I could address them by name, but the named owner is clearly not the resident.

What my daughter actually overheard: "I swear, all you do is eat and poop."

Comments

[ironed_orchid]

I hope you don't have to write again.

[ankaret]

Miss Manners would be proud of that. I hope it works.

[staranise]

"This is neither civilized nor decent." Daaaang. I am deeply impressed.

[lexin]

That is shocking, I really hope you don't have to write again about it. Nightmare. What horrible people.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

That is horrible, and I hope they stop, but I feel really sorry for the poor dog.

[sabotabby]

Oh man. I'm so sorry. Excellent iciness, though; they should fear you.

[that-which.livejournal.com]

If it does happen again (and I hope it doesn't), you should follow up with a letter to the actual owners and CC the tenants.

[madrobins]

It stuns me that I live on a planet with someone who could do that. The next step after threats would be a drone strike.