mme_hardy | Dear Ukelele Teacher

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We hit it off. You're fun to talk to, you meet me at my level, and you've figured out what I want to learn and how to get there. You're a good dude. I look forward to learning from you.

"You don't LOOK disabled!" is never, ever an appropriate thing to say.

Crossposts: http://mme-hardy.livejournal.com/322058.html

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

genarti

Ugh and oh dear. I'm glad it sounds like everything went really well aside from that, but ugh.

From:

kore

LOVELY

"But you're not lying in a hospital bed! You don't LOOK sick."

From:

mme_hardy

There was a head-to-foot "But you're walking!" look first.

However, the moment was self-educating. I said (without thinking) "Chronic pain condition" and he looked embarrassed and flinched. I bet he'll think twice about saying that to somebody else.

From:

kore

Good for you. (My dad is but completely unable to understand why I am on disability when "you're the same as you always have been" and don't have some life-threatening condition. SIGH.) (Well no, I guess depression is life-threatening, just not for the past 2-3 years or so.)

From:

adrian_turtle

Good for you. It's so hard to respond in the moment when those things happen. At least he had the decency to flinch, rather than doubling down, and I hope he won't do it again to anybody else.

From:

thistleingrey

Good.

From:

julian

I ththpt at him.

From:

rachelmanija

That is so obnoxious.

I keep getting "But you look great!" No I don't, I look really thin which you have been culturally conditioned to see as attractive, but which in this case is a sign of illness.

From:

mme_hardy

I once had to snap at my sisters-in-law "It's because I'm suicidally depressed!" because they would not stop asking me how I'd lost all the weight.

From:

rachelmanija

Hopefully that taught her not to ask that question again.

From:

ethelmay.livejournal.com

The thinnest I've ever been in my adult life was from PTSD after a difficult birth. I mostly told people it was the breastfeeding, which I guess had some truth to it, but was far from the whole story.