Not this year: Yuletide

[mme_hardy]

 I was trying to gen up the enthusiasm to write a Dear Yulegoat letter, and I realized I'm just too tired.  The well has been dry, past dry, sucking water down into it, for awhile, and 2017 just keeps dragging on, each day worse than the last one way or another.  (We've had three separate Urgent Care visits in the last two months, plus two medical crises for my parents.)

In an abstract way, I'm pleased for the fandoms I've nominated, but rationally, I can't  see myself writing anything in the next three months.  I can't even muster the energy to write the letter.   It doesn't feel like a relief to drop out (or not drop in); it just feels like a thing, another bullet falling in the tower.

Better luck next year.

Comments

[movingfinger]

I'm sorry.

There is no respite from stress inside or out, lately. Adding more demands on one's time can make it all more stressful, instead of being a diversion.

[mme_hardy]

Daughter says all the therapists here are slammed. (She's doing actual social work in a high school this year! And loving it.)

[rachelmanija]

I'm sorry about your year, Yuletide, the world, everything.

Re: therapists: let me tell you, it adds a certain something to trying to treat people for PTSD when every morning they check the news and find "today's chances of nuclear war: IMMINENT."

I'm glad your daughter likes her job! High school: better her than me.

[mme_hardy]

Back atcha.

She says she's really enjoying working with adolescents, and can't imagine working with children. (Adults didn't come up in the conversation.)

e: She's in the second year of her MSW, so this is their equivalent of internship, not precisely her first job. Loving it, though.

[legionseagle]

Sorry to hear about the ongoing stress. I've never done Yuletide because (among other things) I think the stress of adding extra deadlines at this season of all seasons is contra-indicated, so your decision is a very wise one imho. All the best.

[mme_hardy]

Thank you! In past years I've found the panic and last-minute achievement (for me, anyway) of Yuletide stimulating and fulfilling; not after Nov 2016, though.

[redbird]

It may not feel like relief, but from here it sounds pretty clear that staying in would add stress. Fandom and fan writing are, or should be, an enjoyable hobby, not a burden. As you say, better luck next year.

Yes, easy for me to say: I occasionally read fanfic, have never written it (because I don't write fiction, not because it's fanfic specifically).

[mme_hardy]

No, I'm grateful to hear you say it. Thank you.

[recessional]

If it helps: I entirely endorse not doing Yuletide if you do not feel actively excited for it. this is, as far as I'm concerned, a super smart choice. I did it for three or four? ish? years because in the first of those years the whole thing was Lovely and Fed My Creativity, but even the last year was a little bit of a strain and I chose to stop then until I felt a Drive again and have not regretted it.

And your year has sounded eXACTLY LIKE the kind that just eats away at that part of the brain energy. And it is best to take care of that.

[mme_hardy]

Thank you. This year I can read fics without a feeling of "did I do better/worse than this?" looming over me.

[castiron]

I'm also skipping Yuletide this year. I'm having enough trouble finding motivation to write the fanfic I *want* to write for myself, and this is not the year for me to figure out a good story for someone else.

[mme_hardy]

It's been one hell of a year, hasn't it? Take care.